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Tell people to have a nice day

October 2, 2018

Okay so that sounds awfully pushy - I don't mean, like... yell at them or force them haha. But this is a post about being nice!

What I mean is, if you can, expend that little bit of extra effort to be nice to people in your daily life.


I'm a bit of a complete and utter recluse and I basically live as a small feral creature in my studio at home; though I can occasionally be spotted walking to the postbox in my Run DMC pyjama pants and "gym hard gin harder" hoodie.


So how can you be nicer to people and make the world a slightly rosier place to be? This is a completely informal list-type thing. I'm not an expert in niceness. In fact my husband has told me repeatedly that when I open a bricks and mortar shop (that's right, a bricks and mortar Doodlepeople shop - cool right?) that I'm not allowed to work in there because I'm mean (this is completely not true I don't know WHAT he is talking about!!)


1. Smile at people!

I totally get it... sometimes smiling at people in the street feels a little awkward. I understand that. I'm super uncomfortable maintaining eye contact longer than approximately 0.8 seconds with a stranger in the street. I do that thing. You know the thing, where you do "big smile - look to the side - look down". If you don't get uncomfortable with eye contact then... well, good for you I guess.

If you're feeling particularly lovely (or depending on your outlook on social interaction, brave) say hi. If someone says hi to you, say hi back!


2. Don't "lash back"

Some people are having a shitty time of things, okay? We've all been there. You're having a shite day, maybe even a full on sneaky hate spiral... and then one too many things happen and you snap.

It's not just you, that happens to everyone and it's cool.

I'm absolutely NOT condoning lashing out (I don't truly believe anybody wants to do that) but you don't know other peoples' situations and just a tiny smidge of compassion goes a heck of a long way, so be nice to them.

I'm certainly not saying that if the post office worker tells you you're an stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and your butt smells and you like to kiss your own butt then you should take it lying down, but if they're a bit short with you... just be kind.

They may be having a bad day, they may generally be having a really rough time of things but had to come to work anyway and something completely innocuous and trivial ended up being the straw that broke the camel's back.

Don't lash out if you can help it (like I said, I don't think anybody does on purpose) and try not to lash back.

As a side note I'll probably never forgive myself for all the times I lashed out at my mum just because I was a teenager and she was my mum; because she's a perfect angel and deserves the world.


3. Don't lift up hateful rhetoric in the world

(See: don't lift up hateful rhetoric in the comments section on the internet).

Most comments sections are where all joy, light and happiness not only go to die, but go to be dramatically and violently bludgeoned to death.

It took me ages to learn to not respond to trolls in comments sections. It also took me ages to not laugh react to trolls in comments sections (guess what, that STILL boosts them up to the top comment spot so please try to resist).

Better yet, just don't read the comments.

Seriously. Just don't.

But if you do (I sometimes blunder in there too, don't worry) - lift up the good instead. Heart or just like the good comments; reply (even if it's just with "this!" or a gif). Make nice stuff the top comment instead.

Don't feed the trolls.


4. Donate an organ

 Just kidding.


Now you may be thinking "surely there are some exceptions to the be nice rule... not everyone is nice??" and this is true. There are. Murderers, for one. Also rapists. People who harass people outside of abortion clinics. Donald Trump (justkiddingbutnotreally).


Not so much the exception, though, are trolls. Now remember I said don't feed the trolls. Don't respond to them directly at all. Look, I know trolls suck but I don't honestly believe they're ALL inherently bad or evil. I also don't believe that they're all inherently sad and miserable either and implying this isn't fair.

Not all trolls are sad and miserable and in the same vein, not all sad and miserable people are trolls. It isn't fair to boil it down to "sad people are mean" and "happy people are nice". The world is not - and people are not - that easily simplified.

What I'm getting at here is don't try to fight or fill up meanness with more meanness (ESPECIALLY that kind of "attack the person instead of their argument" meanness). It doesn't help. It just creates more ugly vitriol and the world doesn't need any more of that.


So be nice. Don't feed the trolls. Have a nice day. Do that weird "big smile - look to the side - look down" thing.



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Leeds, United Kingdom

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